When my father came to the US from Cuba, his parents decided to change their last name from Gonzalez to the other family name, Meulener because they didn't want their sons to experience discrimination. Well, that's fine and dandy but gosh darn it, that decision was very inconvenient for me and my auditioning career! I could have been an easy breezy Latina walking into a casting room, but instead the first thing a casting director thinks about when they try to decipher my name, is a MULE! Luckily, as you might know, voice overs is my main gig. One because I get jobs doing it and two because I like any kind of work that allows me to wear my pajamas. But when I do get called in for the occasional "young quirky mom" role for an on-camera commercial, I'd like it to start with my best foot forward. Unfortunately, that's not usually the case.
Just the other day, I was at an audition wearing my black “slimming” pants that did not resemble my usual zebra print pajamas, when the casting assistant called my name...... “Elena……..Mule….Mu.....” “Nope! No mule in there!" I called out way too enthusiastically, shooting out of my seat like a rocket. "More like a melon,' I continued. "Or like a melon full of air.....I mean, no.....that's weird. Not an actual MELON FULL OF AIR, but you know.....definitely no mule in there because that's not how it's pronounced...." I paused and took a deep breath. "It's pronounced, MELON AIR. Just drop the u." |
“Got it,”says the casting assistant not making eye contact. “Are you ready, Elena Melon (pause) air?”
I nod and let out an uncomfortable giggle aware that the room full of actors also in their black "slimming" pants are staring at me. Probably feeling very sorry for me right now. I mean we’ve all been there…..right? Right?!……..Okay maybe I’ve just been there.
Anyway, when I went home after the audition, I decided I had had enough! I was changing my name back to Gonzalez! I was going to be the Latina I was always destined to be before my grandparents screwed everything up! So, after jumping up and down in my zebra printed pjs and feeling completely elated by the fact that I was going back to my roots, I did what any professional person about to change their name would do. I googled Elena Gonzalez. This is what came up.
I nod and let out an uncomfortable giggle aware that the room full of actors also in their black "slimming" pants are staring at me. Probably feeling very sorry for me right now. I mean we’ve all been there…..right? Right?!……..Okay maybe I’ve just been there.
Anyway, when I went home after the audition, I decided I had had enough! I was changing my name back to Gonzalez! I was going to be the Latina I was always destined to be before my grandparents screwed everything up! So, after jumping up and down in my zebra printed pjs and feeling completely elated by the fact that I was going back to my roots, I did what any professional person about to change their name would do. I googled Elena Gonzalez. This is what came up.
Okay, I'm not sure my black "slimming" pants can compete with this.
I think I’ll just drop the u.
I think I’ll just drop the u.