People say I look like Martin Short . . .

Back in the day, as a young aspiring comedic theater actor, being told I looked like Martin Short was a regular thing. It seems I was always destined to be a Martin Short of sorts. After all, my nickname with some of my friends in middle school was "rubber face.” I never knew just how to handle it though. What should have been a compliment, always felt like a huge blow to my ego. I was too consumed by appearances. Too blind sided by the fact that Martin Short was a man. Immaturity and a lack of confidence played a bigger role in my career as an aspiring thespian. 

I look back on that time and still wish I could have been stronger and maybe a little less dramatic. (No pun intended.) But I have no regrets. Everything happens for a reason and the moments that stop us in our tracks offer lessons we inevitably learn from. For me, the first time I was told I looked like Martin Short, turned out to be an exercise in self worth. To paint a better picture, I will write this moment in time, in sketch format for your convenience. This is a true story.

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Rude People Stink!
Written By Elena Melener

CAST: 
Casting Director: 30’s
Me: 20’s

(Lights up on a casting director sitting behind a desk writing down a bunch of stuff, presumably about the six foot Barbie look a like who auditioned just before.)

        ME
(Clearing throat and shifting weight back and forth waiting for casting director to be done.)

        CASTING DIRECTOR
(Not looking up and waving her hand dismissively.)
         Yup. Just go.

        ME
        Oh…….okay.

(Me begins monologue about a color specialist named Wanda who tells her clients what colors are suited best for their complexion and personality.)

        ME
        You are absolutely a peach…….

(Casting director looks up at ME and laughs.)

        I know you want to but don’t fight the peach……..

(Casting director’s phone rings. She rummages through her bag, grabs her phone and answers.)

        CASTING DIRECTOR
        Hi, I’m in the middle of auditions.

(Me stops monologue and waits awkwardly. Casting director motions for Me to continue with a wave of her hand.)

        ME
        Oh….okay…..
        And you……you are most definitely a plum.

        CASTING DIRECTOR
(Speaking into phone)
        I don’t know where to eat, you decide. 

(Me stops monologue again.)

      CASTING DIRECTOR
        I told you, I’m in the middle of an audition and I don’t want to be rude. 

(Casting director looks at Me and covers the phone with one hand)

        I can still hear you sweetie. Just keep going.

        ME
        Uh okay…..don’t you get an attitude with me Plum…..

        CASTING DIRECTOR
        I’ll see you for dinner. Yup. Okay. Bye.

(Casting Director hangs up the phone and lets out a sigh.)

        ME
        That is just like a Plum to roll her eyes and…….

        CASTING DIRECTOR
        Has anyone ever told you that you look like Martin Short?

        ME
        Me? No….

     (Awkward pause)

        CASTING DIRECTOR
        Okay. Thank you.

(Shoulders slumped and visibly confused, Me walks out.)

       THE END.

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Looking back, I can see that I wasn't ready to be compared to, in my opinion, one of the funniest physical comedians of our time. Martin Short certainly would not have let that casting director get away with answering a phone during his audition. He also would have owned his talents and instead of defeat, found a way to shine in that moment with a quick witted zinger or joke. I unfortunately and sadly, did not. Sometimes I think maybe that’s what the casting director was ultimately looking for. Could it have been a test? Could she have possibly been that rude? I’ll never know. 

So what was the lesson here? I think it was to stand up for myself, know my time is valuable, not take things so personally AND that rude people stink! Also, that I’m funny and I should own it. Now, I actually love being compared to any man as long as they're funny. 

​Have you ever been caught off guard by a rude person? What lesson did you learn?