I gave my kids a big hug and a kiss, slammed the car door shut and watched my entire family drive down our driveway and disappear. My husband took the kids for two whole days up to the Berkshires in Massachusetts, while I stayed behind to do some voice over work and take a workshop. Honestly, I haven't been completely alone like this in four years. At first it was strange, eery and a bit unsettling. I couldn't get my body and my mind to adjust. When all you do every day is juggle your family and a million other things, it's hard to get out of the routine of well, being a mom.
At first, I couldn't get myself out of The Mama Zone no matter what I did. I found myself still thinking about routines and schedules as I pulled weeds out of the garden or drove to the store. I was always thinking about the family as if they were still home! "Get a quick shower in before they wake up!" or "Do this voice over quickly before the baby wakes up from her nap" and "What should I make the kids for dinner?" These thoughts just wouldn't leave me alone. I was literally forcing myself to snap out of it!
Anyone on the outside looking in would have found it amusing to watch. Like a puttering, stalling old truck, I spent my entire afternoon going, stopping, going, stopping. It felt almost impossible to solely think about my needs and myself. Crazy right? Who knew it would be this hard and that I would be so out of practice. After mentally and physically exhausting myself and feeling like maybe I needed to check in somewhere for help, I realized this old truck needed an oil change.
So, I did what any woman without her kids has to do. I introduced myself to.....well......myself. "Hi. Great to see you again. It's been a while." Soon enough, me, myself and I got our groove back. I took my dog out for a long walk, had dinner with friends, appreciated the quiet and I actually went to see a movie by myself.
It was heaven :)
Anyone on the outside looking in would have found it amusing to watch. Like a puttering, stalling old truck, I spent my entire afternoon going, stopping, going, stopping. It felt almost impossible to solely think about my needs and myself. Crazy right? Who knew it would be this hard and that I would be so out of practice. After mentally and physically exhausting myself and feeling like maybe I needed to check in somewhere for help, I realized this old truck needed an oil change.
So, I did what any woman without her kids has to do. I introduced myself to.....well......myself. "Hi. Great to see you again. It's been a while." Soon enough, me, myself and I got our groove back. I took my dog out for a long walk, had dinner with friends, appreciated the quiet and I actually went to see a movie by myself.
It was heaven :)
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